BLOOD & CUSTARD

Why are you still here?

2009-01-08T23:14:00.004Z

Blood & Custard is dead! It's a lifeless husk of a place here, full of the ghosts of small winkies.

You need to get yourself over to my new place, Missus:

Normal for Norfolk

You can't go wrong. It's got all the same old crap you know and love from Blood & Custard.

Or, for hard-core, serious train posts, go to my serious nerd blog:

Steeplecab Heaven

I can't say fairer than that, can I?

How very moving

2008-12-23T16:55:00.010Z

It's all over. Blood & Custard is full.

So here's the deal.

All the serious railway posts now have a home all to themselves, over at Steeplecab Heaven.

For the salacious tittilation that you've come to know and love on Blood & Custard, you now need to click over to my other shiny new blog, Normal for Norfolk.

See you there!

Sport of kings

2008-12-22T20:17:00.008Z

I feel ambivalent about boxing.

I like the manly, homoerotic manliness of it all, but I'm a bit squeamish about the violence stuff.

However, I am keen on this sequence coming up, which gives us a pair of boxers who are also brothers.

Nubile, fit, lean...

Hairy chested...

So I am completely seduced when things turn erotic:

Yeah, that does it for me. Lovely.

Er... wasn't the sport of kings actually horse-racing?

Nah -- who cares.

The Ladybird book of Achievements

2008-12-22T20:11:00.006Z

THE STORY OF RAILWAYS
[Click to enlarge]

Reflective

2008-12-21T23:06:00.003Z

No reason whatsoever to post this trio.

It's just that I like them.

I find them strangely soothing.

That is all.

What if?

2008-12-21T23:05:00.002Z

The American Civil War was the first major war in which railways played a central role.

The 33 states split 1/3rd and 2/3rds: the 11 southern states, overwhelmingly agricultural, with a population of 9 million including over 3 million slaves; and the 22 northern states, with a population of 22 million -- many of them first generation immigrants -- beginning to experience rapid industrialisation.

The 11 southern states seceded from the Union after the 1860 election of anti-slavery president Abraham Lincoln, to form a Confederacy. In the spring of 1861 the first shots were fired.

In some ways, the American Civil War was a bridging war -- a stepping stone from the old style campaigns of the Napoleonic era, to the industrial warfare of the First World War. Many of the generals in the American Civil War were, literally, constantly asking themselves what Napoleon would have done. They didn't realise that the railways had created a new type of warfare.

The Confederacy was led by the man who was undoubtedly the most brilliant general of his era: but Robert E Lee, the star pupil of West Point, was stuck in a Napoleonic way of thinking.

His opponent, Ulysses S Grant, was a drunkard and a failed businessman. But he had a new way of thinking: he wasn't interested in taking and then holding enemy territory; he only wanted to destroy their armies.

In the early part of the Civil War, the Union forces were led by old school generals. They lost again and again to Lee. But when Grant adopted his new approach -- tying the Southern armies down, preventing them from reinforcing each other, slowly defeating them through sheer weight of numbers -- the South was doomed.

As Grant put it: if someone isn't actually skinning the animal, they can still be making themselves useful by holding down a leg.

Who knows: ten years earlier, before the railways had developed into a comprehensive network, and the South might have won. How different the world would be.

This is the end of the line (almost)

2008-12-20T22:12:00.011Z

It's getting to that time of year again...

No, not Christmas: but the time when my blog runs out of photographic allowance.

Yes indeed -- I am, once again, bumping up against Blogger's ridiculously low 1GB limit.

But, as we know, all good things must come to an end.

Apartment Zero was fun. Blood & Custard has been even more, er, fun.

But it feels like I'm reaching the end of the line.

Maybe it's time for something new: for me to disappear back into cyberspace, and to come up with a whole new type of blog.

To leave it up to chance whether anyone will stumble across it and, if they do, to decide for themselves whether they like it, without the burden of Megabytes of tiny winkies clouding their judgements.

I have enough capacity left for one or two more posts.

And then, alas, it will be time for me to bid you adieu! For me to leave you to your own devices, surfing elsewhere for your dose of smut.

God knows, it's not as if there's a shortage of places to go.

I'll leave Blood & Custard here for a few months.

Alongside Apartment Zero, it will stand as a monument to one man's obsessions.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the final rantings of a deranged man...

Oh, oh...

2008-12-20T14:47:00.003Z

Can I introduce "Mariano", who has what I firmly believe is the most perfect penis EVER to appear on Blood & Custard:

I have to go and lie down now...

Bus wars

2008-12-20T14:25:00.007Z

Loved this photo of Hackney:

It came with this text: "A typical Hackney bus face-off is going on in the foreground. A 45 is involved, and that is well-known to be a quite feral route. I'm not quite sure what the bendy 38 is doing, it being so far down the pecking order now (it used to be one of the top buses in the whole of London, but now it is just a sad remedial case), but it is more likely waiting for the big guys to settle their differences and hoping not to be noticed in the meantime. A 38 Routemaster would have settled all this hash in 6 seconds in my opinion..."

Which is as neat a segue as any into the results of the Mayor of London's competition for design concepts for a new Routemaster bus, to replace both the late, lamented icons and their ludicrous replacements, the hated bendy-buses.

There's a joint winner: a to my eyes rather clunky design by Capoco:

Alongside a rather gorgeous, seductive design by Aston Martin and Foster+Partners:

The Capoco looks like a reworking of a design concept for a new "green" bus they came up with a year or so ago:

Neither of these designs will be translated into a manufactured product -- they are promotional hype and, instead, Mayor Boris tells us that they'll be "taken into account" as a new design is developed.

Which is a bit of a shame -- I rather fancied those Aston Martin buses...

Things can only get...

2008-12-20T13:10:00.004Z

In amongst all the usual despair some good news comes, again, from the UK judicial system, which seems to get more liberal as every year passes. Thank God we've come a long way since Operation Spanner...

From today's Guardian:

"Discrimination against gay people in the workplace will be treated more harshly by the courts after two landmark judgments yesterday.

"Lillian Ladele, the registrar who refused to conduct same-sex civil partnership ceremonies 'as a matter of religious conscience', lost her case against Islington Council in north London. And Stephen English, a married man who was driven out of his job after being repeatedly called a 'faggot' by colleagues, had an Employment Tribunal ruling that he had not been the victim of sexual harassment overturned by the Court of Appeal.

"The Employment Appeal Tribunal ruled that Islington Council had been entitled to discipline Ladele and threaten her with dismissal, even though her conduct was the result of 'her strong and genuinely held Christian beliefs'.

"The Council had been entitled to the view that 'it was unacceptable discrimination for the claimant to refuse to participate in civil partnership ceremonies. It offended some gay employees and involved discriminating against third parties making use of the services of the council'. Although the Tribunal acknowledged that changes in social attitudes towards gay people could be 'genuinely perplexing' for some religious groups, it ruled that it was proportionate for the Council to require its registrars to conduct civil partnerships. Ladele, whose case was financed by the Christian Institute's Legal Defence Fund, said she would appeal.

"'The issues involved are iconic of a situation where there are clearly clashes', said Mike Judge, a spokesman for the Christian Institute. 'Many Christians will feel that religious rights always play second fiddle to sexual orientation rights and we feel a more balanced approach is needed'.

"Islington councillor John Gilbert said the judgment 'provides clarity for employers across the country in requiring their employees to act in a non-discriminatory manner when discharging their public service duties'.

"In the second case, the Appeal Court heard that English, married with three children, had been told by an Employment Tribunal that he could not be the victim of harassment based on sexual orientation because he was not gay. He had been subject to 'homophobic banter' because he attended a boarding school and lived in Brighton, the Court of Appeal heard.

"The Court said: 'The incessant mockery created a degrading and hostile working environment, and it did so on grounds of sexual orientation'.

"'Until now, victims of this type of abuse had little or no legal protection', said John Wadham, legal director of the Equality and Human Rights Commission, which backed the case. 'The fact that Stephen English's colleagues knew he wasn't gay does not excuse their behaviour, nor should it prevent him from enjoying the same rights to dignity and respect at work'."

In my view, the more far-reaching of these cases is Islington: the clash between religious beliefs and the secular state is becoming more acute in British society (not helped by the current government's insane and divisively sectarian pursuit of "faith schools").

Implicit in Ladele's case was the idea that an employee of a public authority should have the right to determine which of her fellow citizens should receive public services. I find that idea totally repugnant. It is wholly incompatible with the very idea of public service, and with the notion that all citizens have an absolute, irreducible right to be treated equally by the state. Ladele was not forced to become a public servant, and the idea that she should be able to pick and choose which citizens should receive public services on the basis of her "conscience" is simply outrageous (and don't get me started on NHS opt-outs for staff who don't want to do abortions. Perhaps they have chosen the wrong specialism, or even the wrong career?).

Meanwhile, I'm loving that pathetically whiny quote -- that "many Christians will feel that religious rights always play second fiddle to sexual orientation rights and we feel a more balanced approach is needed". After being for generations at the forefront of leading abuse against lesbians and gay men, the poor Christians now feel they're being treated unfairly...? Whatever happened to rendering unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and -- what I thought was supposed to be a fundamental tenet of Christianity -- the notion of "turning the other cheek"?

Yearning

2008-12-20T13:00:00.002Z

Not my type at all, but there is something about this that captures perfectly the sense of adolescent yearning that, when I was growing up, was an almost overwhelming part of my life.

Very nice.

Striking

2008-12-19T23:23:00.004Z

I find this totally irresistible.

Very athletic.

A weighty post

2008-12-18T23:53:00.006Z

Contrived though it is, I rather like this series.

It vaguely reminds me of the exercise yard in what I believe is called a "maximum security penitentiary". Or possibly an "Oz".

Although this is clearly a much cleaner, nicer penitentiary than I suspect are the ones in real life.

And the inmate of this one is rather comely.

If, perhaps, not quite as focused on his exercises as he is pretending to be.

Still, we all need to relax from time to time.

And I think we ought not to criticise when he has been so generous with us.

I'm feeling all warm inside. Is that what rehabilitation feels like?

Running on empty?

2008-12-18T23:38:00.005Z

You are only reading this blog thanks to the generosity of my lovely friend S., without whose skill and willingness to repair my Mac, this blog would have died some months back (in this next picture, check out that guy in blue...):

So this post is by way of a commercial break for my lovely friend S.

Don't worry, it won't hurt.

S. has launched an exciting and innovative new website, where you can download tracks especially designed for running: audiofuel.

Since I rarely travel by any means other than the cocooning luxury of a good, solid train, I know little about running. But apparently people who do it to get fit benefit from having special music to run to which is presented as part of a complete package -- warm-up, run, er, cool-down. Or something.

So if you like running, why not zip over to my lovely friend S.'s website where you can download 15 minutes totally free of charge.

You know it makes sense.

No we can't...

2008-12-18T23:28:00.004Z

Wow... not even inaugurated yet, and I already feel let down...

From today's Guardian:

Gay civil rights advocates and liberal activists were in an uproar today over news that evangelical pastor Rick Warren is to deliver the invocation at Barack Obama's inauguration next month.

Warren, the author of The Purpose Driven Life and pastor at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, was an outspoken proponent of a ballot measure to rescind the right of California same-sex couples to wed, and has compared homosexuality to incest and paedophilia.

... [A lawsuit] earlier this year led the California supreme court to grant same-sex couples the right to marry. Voters rescinded that right on election day, through a ballot question that Warren backed publicly, known as proposition 8.

"If you believe what the Bible says about marriage, you need to support proposition 8", Warren said in an advertisement urging support for it.

John Aravosis, the editor of AmericaBlog, a liberal website, wondered why Obama chose Warren out of all the preachers in the country.

"When a Democrat wins the presidency, I would think we could find at least one preacher who isn't a raving homophobe to give the invocation", Aravosis said. "The Obama people know the loss on that prop 8 was a huge issue for the gay community. It is an incredibly raw issue, and then you go and pick one of the top guys behind it?"

In an interview on Beliefnet.com after the election, Warren said he is opposed not to same-sex civil unions, but to "the redefinition of a 5,000-year definition of marriage".

"I'm opposed to having a brother and sister be together and call that marriage," he continued. "I'm opposed to an older guy marrying a child and calling that a marriage. I'm opposed to one guy having multiple wives and calling that marriage".

Asked by the interviewer if those are "equivalent to having gays getting married", Warren responded: "I do".

Goddamnit: I should be used to it by now.

Angelic

2008-12-17T20:59:00.003Z

A post on a vague theme of angels.

No, I have no idea why I'm doing this, either.

So just sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight.

I am so in need of inspiration.

Liverish

2008-12-17T20:41:00.002Z

Following my complaints about the latest Thameslink promotional livery, a kind reader has sent me a link to a site which shows some fabulous examples of Japanese decorated trains.

They are, for the most part, spectacularly vulgar.

In fact, I would say they are, mostly, worse than the Thameslink train.

Can you imagine having to sit in a carriage decorated like this:

Dear God...

Although, now I reflect, this last one isn't looking too bad...

Everything's relative, I guess.

Follow up

2008-12-17T20:15:00.005Z

I mentioned the other day how much I liked the look of this chap.

One or two of you were kind enough to agree with me, so I thought you might like a few more photos of him.

Very satisfying, I think we can all agree.

Getting up

2008-12-17T20:10:00.001Z

I like this sequence a lot.

Nothing else to say about it, really.

Mystifying

2008-12-16T21:37:00.005Z

This is a really unusual picture. Five naked men; but I don't fancy a single one of them.

And as result I am in a state of shock.

No such worries with the fine-looking chap in this next image, whose winky is one of the finest I have ever seen in a long, long life of staring at the winkies of numerous different men.

Although this one is pretty damn lovely, too.

So no need to feel quite so bad about the first five then.

St St

2008-12-16T20:16:00.005Z

I was always intrigued by the grammatical coincidence of Street and Station having the same abbreviation, giving the delightful stutter of London's "Liverpool St St".

Liverpool Street was the first magical terminus I used on my own. It was a station of heavyweight diesel-electric locomotives clad in Rail Blue livery -- like these huge Brush Type 4s (British Rail class 47s).

Although I was travelling more often than not behind one of these: a delightful English Electric Type 3 (a British Rail class 37), here waiting with Mk2 carriages:

To finish, a trio of three archival images of the station as I remember it -- long before the Bishopsgate development destroyed half the station roof and made it the light and, to my eyes, slightly sterile environment it is today rather than the dark, warren-y, romantic place of my youth.

I enjoyed that.

Rudder less

2008-12-16T19:54:00.005Z

Did I tell you how much I love Paul Rudd?

No, really.

Since, like, forever...

Which is why this next sequence, from dreadful US comedy series Saturday Night Live, torments me.

I so, so wish I had the magic power of unpixellating doctored photos...

I feel exhausted.

And even more enchanted.

Pepin Show

2008-12-16T18:56:00.005Z

Thierry Pepin is a Canadian actor and model.

He has that super-human model look to him -- all chiselled cheek-bones and bulging pectorals.

He starred in just one film, a tiresome-ish 2001 French Canadian film called Danny in the Sky.

But it turned out Thierry had an earlier life as an actor...

A very different sort of actor, in a little-known film called Minets du Quebec, in which Thierry clearly gave a spirited performance.

Alas, Minets... is apparently no longer available.

Which is a great pity, by the looks of things.

But we still have the lovely Thierry's lovely face to contemplate.

I just can't understand why he hasn't appeared in more movies.

Goddammit

2008-12-15T23:09:00.001Z

It's the Christmas party season. Again. For a misanthropic introvert like me this is a particularly Hellish period where all sorts of unwanted social interaction is expected of me.

But it also means I have less time for blogging this week.

So you're just gonna have to make do with this fine chap tonight -- direct from Canaduh, the lovely Thierry Pepin.

He's a taster of things to come.

If I ever get another minute to myself...

Giddy kipper

2008-12-14T21:47:00.003Z

These pictures of this fine-looking chap have been knocking around for a long time now, but Blood & Custard has never been quick off the block.

So here are half a dozen pictures of the lovely "Kip Lang".

He looks like a fine figure of a man to me.

Nothing else to say, really. Just enjoying the moment.

Batty

2008-12-14T21:36:00.006Z

I posted a few days back about the central place of the battleaxe in English comedy, referring you to Sybil Fawlty. An archetypal battleaxe was, of course, the formidable Nora Batty.

Nora was solid as a rock, absolutely resolute and determined, an island of authoratative maturity and common sense in a sea of childish old men. Played by Kathy Staff (who, by all accounts, was a delightful woman), she is celebrated on Blood & Custard today because of the sad news that Kathy has just died.

She leaves behind a body of work, but it's her sharp-tongued battleaxe Nora Batty that will be remembered best.

In the beginning

2008-12-14T18:04:00.007Z

Remember this fine pair of chaps -- Adam & Steve, as I like to think of them?

I've become a tad infatuated with one of them (and I think by now it should be pretty obvious to any of you which one would be the focus of my lusts. And it wouldn't be the bearded tattoo-y one).

So the rest of this post is in homage to Adam (of course he's Adam: he is far too innocent to get into league with a snake...).

I'm afraid that, for the purposes of my current lustful obsession, I have taken the liberty of viciously cropping Steve out of the frame, except, as here, where a small token of his anatomy is necessary to retain the integrity of the image:

In all that follows, it is just Adam in whom I am interested:

Even when big fleshy globes of Steve necessarily intrude on the image:

Or even here, where his face is plain for all to see but, for me, I only have eyes for Adam's, er, parts:

Oh, yeah.

I could ignore the end of the world happening if I had an image of Adam in my mind...

Sigh...

Um.

Where was I?

Eagle-eyed

2008-12-14T17:34:00.006Z

A colleague drove me along the M4 a while back, and I was suddenly aware of a flock of the most enormous -- almost prehistoric -- forms flying above our speeding car, vast wingspans seeming to carry them effortlessly aloft.

It was my introduction to the red kite, itself only recently reintroduced to England after being hunted to extinction in a less kind time.

Following that success, proposals are now far advanced for the reintroduction of another previously extinct species: this time, the white-tailed sea eagle is likely to be brought back to the stormy coasts and the bleak, salt marsh expanses of Norfolk.

These massive creatures -- the fourth biggest eagle species -- mostly live on fish snatched from just below the surface of the sea.

But like many eagles they're not averse to a bit of carrion, or to plucking a sickly lamb or piglet away to their doom.

God knows I'm no bird-watcher, or any sort of communer with nature, but even for me there is something about these giant predators that is a truly magnificent spectacle.

I hope they are successfully reintroduced.

Although, truth be told, I feel much more comfortable with this sort of Sea Eagle -- one of Sir Nigel Gresley's magnificent A4 pacifics that pounded the East Coast Mainline for both the London & North Eastern Railway and for British Railways, one of the same class that holds the world record for the fastest steam engine ever.

Another magnificent beast.

Voice of reason

2008-12-14T12:47:00.007Z

Some of the best newspaper commentators are those who can reframe our approach to a seemingly intractable problem, who can turn a crisis into an opportunity.

Here's Andrew Rawnsley in today's Observer:

"President-elect [Obama] has just committed himself to a vast programme of public works as the centrepiece of his response to America's economic anguish. By contrast, Gordon Brown's answer to the recession has been focused on trying to prop up banks and prod consumers to keep shopping. ...

"The more I think about it, the more sure I become that there have to be smarter ways of using billions of pounds than encouraging people to go shopping for more foreign imports. If the government is going to spend like there is no tomorrow, better to use the money building things that might be useful when tomorrow comes. Better to invest in Britain. That way, when we do eventually emerge the other side of recession, we will be in a fitter place to exploit a resumption of growth. The case is even more compelling because this is a country crying out for serious investment to improve its creaking infrastructure.

"There are plenty of needs to be met. Let me suggest three projects that would provide much better value for money than squittering away any more billions on electronic toys from the Far East.

"The first and most screamingly obvious candidate for investment is Britain's outdated railways. We are now in that dreadful season when a centimetre of snow is capable of paralysing our antediluvian rail network. It is as bewildering as it is shocking that our railways are so bad. Britain invented the train. We live in a compact, temperate and relatively flat country with no mountain ranges like the Alps or the Rockies to negotiate. Nature gifted us geography ideally suited for a fast, efficient and green rail network. We blew it. When one of his cabinet urged Tony Blair to take railways more seriously, the then Prime Minister fatalistically responded: 'There's no point. There's nothing that can be done.'

"That attitude, shared by British politicians of every stripe for many decades, has left us with the most embarrassing railways in western Europe. France, Germany, Spain and Italy all have high-speed rail networks. The only high-speed link in Britain are the tracks that take you out of the country and through the Chunnel. We belatedly invested in that only because the French shamed us into it.

"The government is humming and hawing about whether to commit to building a high-speed rail link connecting Heathrow, London, Birmingham, Manchester and Glasgow. If it makes the decision in the way that has been historically typical of British governments, it will spend half as much money as is required to do the job properly and it will take twice as long as it should. For around the same sum that the Treasury is throwing at consumers to spend on plasma screens made in China, Britain can have a high-speed rail link connecting its industrial spine.

"For more immediate results, and for a pretty modest net cost, work could be begun quite quickly on the modernisation of the inter-city network. Smelly and expensive diesel trains still ply the Midland mainline and the Great Western mainline. For a fraction of the money which has been spent on a VAT cut of uncertain effect, those lines could be electrified.

"A programme to modernise the railways will generate work for key industries such as construction, steel and engineering. It is a big job creator. It will have an excellent multiplier effect feeding the stimulus through to other industries. It will help move Britain away from its addiction to the car. It will lift the long-term growth potential of the economy. It is a no-brainer.

"Modernising our antiquated railways is a catch-up project to haul Britain's transport system into the early 21st century."

Rawnsley goes on to list his two other investment candidates -- a national fibre optic network to haul us into the next generation of web world (South Korea has already done this); and a massive investment in green energy, to provide long-term energy security.

He concludes:

"A modernised rail system, a national fibre optic network and a renewable energy grid: all have the triple merit of generating business in Britain, creating jobs in Britain and enhancing Britain's competitiveness. They are not make-work schemes of the sort that can give infrastructure projects a bad name when money is spent building bridges to nowhere. All these projects meet a national need and will leave a profitable legacy.

"Our politicians need to be thinking not just about how to get through the next six months, but how to make Britain fit for the world after the slump. If we are going to spend billions, better they are spent leaving future generations with a legacy which amounts to more than just a mountain of debt."

It all sounds so sensible, doesn't it?

So what are the chances...?

Home is where...

2008-12-13T22:50:00.003Z

I like these a lot -- simple portraits, where the man is naked and in his own environment.

Very nice work, whoever the photographer is.

Request corner

2008-12-13T22:29:00.005Z

A reader requested that I provide photos featuring both boys and trains, combining two of my obsessions and, I assume, wasting less of his time. This is the kind of thing I think he's after:

Or perhaps this:

Trouble is, these are the only shots like this I could quickly lay my hands on, so the rest of this post may well not live up to those standards.

Here's the best I could do, starting with a strange crowd of Santas on a rather unpleasant looking multiple unit:

A little further down the same carriage, and there are more Santas. And -- Dear Lord -- one of them appears to be getting drunk on a bottle of Harvey's Bristol Cream. Can I just say that's a very, very bad idea indeed:

Er... still on trains, but no more Santas, here's a lovely looking chap, possibly suffering from an over-sharp cropping:

And again...

It's no good, I can't keep that up. Here are some arty porn shots instead:

Yeah, that should do the trick.

Thameslink 2

2008-12-13T21:53:00.006Z

On reflection, I suppose it's possible I might have been a tad over-vitriolic in my recent post about Thameslink (the north-south cross-London railway), focussing overly on the crap service, life-expired trains and appalling standards of passenger (dis)comfort:

So, to make up for it, here are some architects' impressions of some of the new stations that are being built for Thameslink 2000. Damnit! I mean Thameslink 2014.

First up, a weird, sub-Calatrava-esque concoction for the Isle of Dogs.

The Isle is such a bleakly depressing place, architecturally, that I guess this can only enhance it.

Next, the controversial station at Borough Market. Which doesn't look too inspired to me, although the viaduct on the right definitely has potential:

Then a simple glass shell for Ealing Broadway, which looks pleasant enough:

And to finish, a range of views of the new Blackfriars, which might be the most spectacular of the stations. Although the now-traditional office block at the north end looks dull in a corporate way...

... it is promising to have a rather interesting-looking glass atrium:

Built all the way across the River, the scale of the station can be seen in this rather jolly night view:

And it will have a new additional entrance on the South Bank (although my bet is that it will be totally overwhelmed with passengers, judging by the small size of it in the impressions you can see here):

And, is it me, or is that slam-door Connex rolling stock showing in that impression? In fact, the type of Mk1-based train that was abolished some years back for health and safety reasons?

But I don't want to quibble too much (even though the South Bank is desperate for better tube and train access), because the actual station platforms look rather fine:

Yeah... that looks mighty nice.

And in the beginning...

2008-12-13T20:16:00.004Z

Who said there was no such thing as Adam & Steve?

All very nice, but I thought you might think I was teasing you if I left you without the goodies...

I feel all spiritually uplifted now. Cleansed perhaps.

Thameslink when?

2008-12-12T23:47:00.013Z

In a field of fierce competition, a new contender has appeared for the prize of Most Outstandingly Vulgar and Inappropriate Train Livery Of All Time.

Step forward: Thameslink.

For those unfamiliar with the byways of London's railways, this is that rarest of creatures, a railway line that goes right through the middle of the capital, rather than terminating somewhere around the edge of the centre.

Originally built to offer a through-route for freight, the Snow Hill Tunnel was so underused that it was closed in 1973.

It was reopened in 1988 by the pioneering and rather visionary Greater London Council (RIP), and was an instant hit -- the closest thing London has yet achieved to Paris' RER express commuter through-lines.

Thameslink services have mainly been operated by competent, if rather spartan, Class 319 units, which are designed to run on both the 3rd rail DC system that operates south of the River Thames and the overhead line AC systems north.

The crossover point is the lovely station at Farringdon (soon to be the hub of the new east-west CrossRail services, the second RER-type system).

Class 319s have never been renowned for their palatial luxury -- here's one before a recent refurbishment:

And here's the dazzlingly bright and sterile interior after:

But now the specification has been released for the new generation of Thameslink trains which, according to the shiny new website, is:

Longer trains with greater capacity
More spacious interiors and wide open connections between carriages
Lighter, energy-efficient vehicles that cause less wear to the track
Greater reliability
Faster acceleration and braking
Advances in safety and reliability built in

The trains will also feature, apparently, "intelligent use of new technology":

Passenger information systems fed with real-time travel information to update passengers on their connections and to guide overseas visitors arriving through the airports and Eurostar services
Passenger loading information transmitted to central London platforms to advise people where to stand so they can board the train where there is most space
Air-conditioning that automatically adjusts according to the number of people in each carriage
Features for passengers with luggage and people of restricted mobility

Notice that there is nothing whatsoever about making them more comfortable. (Don't be fooled by the reference to "spacious" -- that means "fewer seats, so we can cram in more standing people").

And the latest vile livery is the promotional brand applied to draw attention to the Thameslink website that spouts this breathless propaganda. I feel sorry for the poor train.

Anyhow, I suppose we should be grateful that, nine years after the massive refurbishment called "Thameslink 2000 (sic)" was supposed to be operational, that work has finally started on increasing its capacity.

Why does everything to do with Britain's railways, including the trains themselves, have to move with such glacial slowness?

Beef

2008-12-12T23:12:00.003Z

After the macho world of US railroads, my taste in men seems to be going the same way tonight. Here's a rather jolly-looking beefy boy:

And here's an even beefier one, the macho effect only slightly tempered by the range of girl bracelets he's wearing and the heavily topiarised pubic hair:

And to finish, that rarest of creatures in gay porn -- beefy men with real bodies. I can't tell you how excited I am about this discovery!

Looks ordinary enough, huh?

That's exactly the point!

I am speechless.

For once.

The Milwaukee Road

2008-12-12T21:48:00.017Z

It was pretty soon after I first started exploring the rather butch world of US railways (sic) that I encountered one of the most unusual systems -- the Chicago, Milwaukee & St Paul which, later, became universally known as The Milwaukee Road.

The orange and maroon livery seemed pretty garish to my eyes...

...and the "Hiawatha" symbol looked a bit forced-Deco:

But, as I considered it more, their later "Milwaukee Road" logo appeared increasingly intriguing:

And I found myself gradually warming to it in that obsessive way I have when it comes to railways:

Imagine my surprise and delight when I discovered The Milwaukee Road was an electrification pioneer -- a 3000 volt system launched in 1915 across the Rockies.

Their original box-cabs were built by Alco with electrical equipment from General Electric.

There is nothing sleek or stylish about them, but there is something endearingly gawky. Although the fact remains they were among the most powerful locomotives anywhere in the US, much more than the massive steam engines they replaced.

They remained in service until the 1950s, when they were gradually ousted by the "Little Joes" (of which more in a moment). They were partnered by a rather jolly-looking design of steeplecab, from General Electric:

The most famous of The Milwaukee's electric locomotives was probably the Bi-Polar. Built 4 years after the box-cabs, they were 4400hp units.

One famously featured in a 1920s publicity stunt, where two massive steam engines attempted to haul a Bi-Polar one way, while the Bi-Polar resisted and then inexorably dragged the two screaming steam engines backwards, sparks flying from the steam engines' wheels as they failed to gain traction, steam and smoke pouring from their chimnies -- a stark contrast to the silent power of the Bi-Polar:

These units operated the Mountain Division of The Milwaukee.

Immediately after the Second World War, the US and the USSR were bosom buddies. The US offered to build a small fleet of ultra-powerful electric locomotives for their new bestest friend Joseph Stalin, a token of the US government's esteem.

But by the time they were built, the US had decided that the USSR was, in fact, an evil empire, not their best buddies at all, so the fleet of locomotives was retained: a few ended up in Brazil, but the bulk of them were sold to The Milwaukee Road.

With an output of 5500hp, they were immensely powerful.

But not all The Milwaukee Road was electrified, and diesel inevitably replaced steam on those other parts -- here, on the most prestigious long-distance passenger service, the Hiawatha:

Not all passenger services were as glamorous as that:

Diesel, alas, also took over from electric power in the 1970s.

And after all that, I think I'm becoming rather fond of the livery.

Like The Milwaukee Road itself, it is unlike anything else around.

What's that?

2008-12-12T19:38:00.002Z

Passing a movie poster as I walked through the Underground station this evening, I couldn't help notice an explanation next to the BBFC Classification of "15".

It said: "Contains strong sex".

Thinking about it, I suspect they have the wrong adjective. What, after all, is "weak sex"? Sex between two really skinny people who don't have much muscle-tone?

I think what they actually meant was "explicit" sex. Which sounds much jollier (and presumably is the antonym of "coy sex").

But if it's really so explicit, how can it be a "15"?

My brain hurts.

First, a treat

2008-12-11T21:33:00.005Z

You've got a wad of train-heavy posts coming up shortly, so to fortify you first here's a fistful of fun.

Although I've just noticed that -- despite the complaint the other day of an ungrateful B&C reader (that I'm not featuring enough uncut cock) -- all six chaps are circumcised.

What can I say? I only really look at their faces.

And their chest hair, of course.

But mostly their faces.

Ok now then, take a deep breath ... and ...

Plunge on in.

Gimme gimme gimme

2008-12-11T20:18:00.009Z

A couple of years back Britain's leading model railway manufacturer, Hornby, took over Corgi, which was known primarily as a toy car maker but which also owned the Bassett-Lowke brand.

Bassett-Lowke was one of the earliest British manufacturers of model railway engines, starting way back in 1898 (or possibly 1899 -- records are a little sketchy).

Bassett-Lowke are probably best-known for "0" gauge models: to you and me, that means to a scale of something like 1:43 to 1:48. They're pretty meaty for toy trains.

Anyhow, rumour has it that Hornby (who make 00 gauge models, roughly 1:76 -- or about half the linear size and, hence, about a quarter the volume) are about to launch a new range of Bassett-Lowke "0" gauge model trains. And the place they're going to start is, apparently, with a model of the Peckett 0-4-0 saddle tank steam locomotive.

This is, if I may say so, a brilliant idea.

Pecketts were designed as industrial engines, at a time when every decently-sized factory would have its own internal railway lines.

They were produced in vast numbers -- both by Peckett at their famous Atlas Engine Works in Bristol (why don't modern factories have great names like that?), and by the predecessor company Fox, Walker (est 1864) -- and huge numbers were sent overseas (eg, to the delightfully named Christmas Island Phosphate Company -- to you and me that's a company that trades in bird shit).

Unfortunately, because I already have one or two DVDs, a few books, and a very select number of 00 gauge model trains, I suspect I won't have any room for the new generation of Bassett-Lowkes.

But By God I want them!

Road to nowhere

2008-12-11T18:21:00.018Z

By the early 1970s British Rail was in a desperate state.

A network of motorways had sprung up as the boom in car ownership was underway, internal air travel was also becoming affordable, but the creaking Victorian railway infrastructure was operating a 1950s-style railway.

The long-term answer was supposed to be the Advanced Passenger Train, a revolutionary tilting train that would run on an electrified network.

BR recognised it would take some time both to develop the APT and to electrify thousands of miles of track, so an interim solution was developed in parallel: the High Speed Diesel Train (later, HST; later still, InterCity 125).

Alas, political ineptitude killed off the APT, electrification stalled after the east coast mainline was completed, and the HST became, by default, the premier train on the British railway network.

It was to be British Rail's great good fortune that their "interim" HST turned out to be a superb train. From its introduction in service in 1976 the routes over which it operates have changed, but not a single day has passed without HSTs operating front-line InterCity express services.

They have covered the longest route operated in the UK -- the 722 miles of Aberdeen--Penzance -- along with numerous cross-country services; all the long-haul routes of the Great Western Railway and the Midland Railway, as well as the very long-haul east coast services that travel north beyond Edinburgh (where electrification still seems a distant prospect). If you want to travel between London and Inverness in the remotest parts of the Scottish Highlands, you'll still do it by an HST operating the "Highland Chieftan" service.

These trains are of such immense value to the British railway network that the entire fleet -- more than a hundred trainsets, around two hundred locomotives -- has been re-engined. They are expected to remain in front-line service for at least ten, and probably closer to twenty years.

But, alas, they won't go on forever.

And it is to our great misfortune that British Rail no longer exists: so the task of specifying what should replace the venerable HST falls to the brain-dead numpties who occupy desk-space at what is laughably known as the Department for Transport (you know -- those people who are desperate to build loads more airport runways all over the south-east, preferably connected with miles and miles more motorways. Because, let's face it, this whole carbon emissions/global warming thing is a stupid con, isn't it?).

The boys at the DfT have come up with the Intercity Express Project -- or IEP for short.

But there are no flies on those boys. Oh no. They know that something is up with oil-based fuel, although they don't really believe in anything called "Peak Oil". So they have specified that their IEP must have a "self-propelled" locomotive. The word "diesel" never crosses their lips.

And their cunning plan is that the new trains will still have a locomotive at each end, just like the HST, but at one end it will be electric and at the other it will be diesel (oops -- I mean "self-propelled"). The electric locomotive will power the train when it's under the wires, and the other locomotive will take over when it ventures further afield.

That sounds like a wheeze, no? There are, of course, one or two glitches: like, why does it make sense to haul 100 tonnes of dead diesel engine around for mile after mile under the wires, only for the "self-propelled" engine then to have to haul 100 tonnes of dead electric engine for mile after mile thereafter. Is that really the most efficient way of doing things?

But those DfT boys are not worried because they are simply writing the tenders, and it's up to the private sector manufacturers to deliver the solution. So the DfT geniuses have also specified a performance level which, frankly, would make the IEP the most magically special locomotive ever built. Which is just as well, because the key component required to meet everything specified is "unobtanium". We just have to discover a source, and then everything will be fine.

Except that, of course, the cost of this project, even assuming it is realisable, is now estimated at £4 billion.

Dissenting voices are beginning to be raised. Among the most enjoyable (and probably sane) of these is the Engineering Development Manager for one of the train leasing companies -- there are three of them, and they're the people who actually have to buy the rolling stock, which is then leased back to the train operating companies.

Our expert has suggested -- and you might enjoy this -- that better results might actually be obtained by buying proven technology from manufacturers who are already achieving exceptionally high performance.

The example he uses is one that has been praised on Blood & Custard a while back (not that I'm boasting or anything): Austrian state railways (OBB) Railjet project -- whose beautiful trains have adorned the second part of this post.

OBB were an early customer of Siemens' rather lovely Eurosprinter locomotives, buying a slightly customised (or possibly pimped) version called the Taurus. It was one of these that took the world speed record earlier this year for an ordinary electric locomotive. In service they're designed to operate express passenger routes at up to about 230 kph (140 mph -- faster than anything that operates on Britain's domestic routes).

Their new Railjet service is designed for their main west-east route which would not justify a new high speed line: it runs from Vienna via Salzburg to Budapest. [Pause for a moment and admire the romance of such a route.]

The trains will consist of a Taurus locomotive; eight carriages; and a "driving trailer van" at the rear (this lets the train be driven from that end, with the locomotive pushing). All electric, of course.

Operating at higher speeds than our IEP, they have far greater operational flexibility: it is so, so easy to take an electric loco off the front and replace it with a diesel. Or to add a few more carriages on peak services. Or you could just build some more if you needed to and stick them on the back (compare that with the cost of trying to extend Britain's Multiple Unit Pendolinos with their distributed power systems).

And it would cost, if we duplicated what OBB have done in the numbers required for our HST replacement project, about £2 billion. Yes, it would cost just half.

And the standards of comfort? Well, compare the interiors of the Railjet to the interiors of Britain's most modern frontline express train, the Pendolino. Here's the Railjet to start:

Light, spacious, airy...

That's because the train is competing with the private car, which is getting more and more luxurious as each new model emerges...

So of course the train must provide a decent alternative.

Now, to Virgin's Pendolinos. They must be special, right? 'Cos that kooky Richard Branson prides himself on his brand values, and just look at Virgin Atlantic with their reputation, right? Wrong. Pendolinos are claustrophic, cramped, noisy and, frankly, piss-poor:

What fucking numpty moronic twat designed this -- a seat next to a blank bulkhead, hemmed-in by headrests: possibly the most vilely claustrophobic long-distance express train EVER:

Still, not to worry. It was those nice people at DfT who approved all those lovely Pendolinos, so you can be sure we're in safe hands with them.

Kismet Kate

2008-12-11T17:54:00.006Z

A kind reader sent me an image of the longest and highest railway bridge in the United States -- the Kate Shelley (High) Bridge over the Des Moines River, in Iowa.

The eponymous Kate was, apparently, from a dirt-poor family: born in Ireland, probably in 1865, the family emigrated to the States, presumably to escape slow starvation and find a better life. That better life proved elusive.

When the father died leaving a sick mother and three much younger kids, 15 year old Kate became the bread-winner and made a living by ploughing, planting and harvesting crops, as an agricultural labourer.

The following year, in a storm, just before midnight, Kate heard a crash. It was a locomotive with four men on board who were testing whether the Des Moines River bridge, which was to the west of Kate's home, was still roadworthy after severe floods swept away some of the foundations. It was not. Kate found some of the crew trapped below in the swollen river and told them she would go to get help.

She knew an express passenger train was due soon, but it was coming from the western side of the massive and damaged bridge. In the storm, in pitch dark, guided only by an occasional flash of lightning, Kate managed to crawl on her hands and knees across the bridge, and then run another half mile to the nearest depot. The train was stopped, with 200 people on board.

Kate took a rescue party back to the scene of the earlier crash, and two of the four enginemen were rescued. The other two had died.

Kate was rewarded for her heroism, and the railway company named their new bridge after her. By all accounts she still led a pretty miserable life, at one point applying for work as a cleaner because she was near destitute. She died in 1912, probably aged 46.

The bridge named after her is almost life expired: a new concrete one is currently being constructed alongside. I think there's something rather majestic about the original iron trestle viaduct, though.

Uplifting

2008-12-09T20:37:00.002Z

These four images remind me of a Pietà -- which is rather nice, I think.

Sortof spiritual.

Little things

2008-12-09T19:36:00.011Z

You may not have noticed, but when I post photos to Blood & Custard I tend only to post large-sized images -- you can click to enlarge for the full effect.

But this post is different: I came across this vast collection of cute electric trains although they were all teeny-tiny images.

And I couldn't resist them.

What they lack in image size, they make up for in varied loveliness.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy a collection of unusually tiny images -- mostly featuring rolling stock in Switzerland.

No more commentary.

And that's enough for now. I'll revert to big images. Promise.

Random pleasures

2008-12-08T20:50:00.008Z

Can I introduce Stephan?

For some reason, Stephan decided to take off his shorts while driving his car.

And then to post the resulting trio of photos on the web, for all of us to enjoy.

Because the internet is all about building a strong community, wouldn't you say?

And Stephan is just the first of the generous boys who've treated us to the images we're going to be enjoying tonight.

I like this next one a lot:

And if you savagely crop the photo it becomes even more seductive (but... why has he shaved himself...?):

This must be some sort of swimming lesson:

That's enough feeble commentary from me for a while:

Of course, the boys don't even have to show us all the goodies -- sometimes just a simple face shot is more than enough to do it for me:

And, for my finale, just a nice, simple, geometrically-pleasing form.

Yes, I think that's all rather jolly.

Keep on truckin'

2008-12-08T20:16:00.008Z

About the same time as British Railways was commissioning relatively delicate-looking diesel-electric locomotives such as these...

American manufacturers General Electric and General Motors (the latter trading as EMD) were producing hulking great diesel-electric locomotives like these (most of which, interestingly, were little more powerful than the BR engines, and some of them were rather less so):

While freight was (and is) overwhelmingly more important to US railways than passenger movements, self-loading cargo was still by no means absent. So you'd have thought the country that had put so much effort into Raymond Loewy-streamlining would have put a little thought into the aesthetics of the new modern diesel-electrics.

Enough of my whining: let's just enjoy the simple hulk of these machines (and, in this first one, the extraordinary viaduct over which it's travelling):

Ok, maybe I'm persuaded that, with their huge range of colourful liveries, these engines are not entirely devoid of a certain presence.

A quick reminder

2008-12-07T18:01:00.004Z

If I believed in the truth of the market, I would also believe that this is an image of an ideal gay man:

Luckily I don't, and I think Marshall, in this next trio, is much closer to a perfect physique:

So can I take this time to just remind you that Blood & Custard is a celebration of the normal-sized (and smaller) willie. We love them all.

Out and about

2008-12-07T16:42:00.005Z

London was today basking in some crisp, thin wintry sunshine, so it was an ideal opportunity to have a wander around the back of King's Cross / St Pancras and give my camera a winter workout.

Work has at last started on renovating King's Cross -- but here the sunlight was beautifully catching some of the first wave of 19th century renovations, when the original wooden arches were replaced with these rather fine cast iron jobs:

The rest of this post covers the area around the back of St Pancras and the modern extension. Which I still think is piss-poor architecture (the whole of the ground floor of the domestic station was filled with choking diesel fumes as I walked through it today), but at least it looks geometrically dramatic in the light:

And, to finish, I couldn't resist this intriguing sign:

"Specialist", eh...?

I am not alone

2008-12-07T16:07:00.008Z

He's now deeply unfashionable, his genre of the "cosy catastrophe" seeming rooted in the world of 1950s middle class England, but I praised John Wyndham's The Chrysalids on my old blog, Apartment Zero.

Today comes validation in the form of a review in The Observer's "Classics Corner" (and what a great idea it is, to review classics alongside the new books...). Here's what Alice Fisher had to say:

"I remember hearing the Radio 4 play of The Chrysalids when I was nine. My stern father picked me up from school - a rare occurrence - and I was nervously glad the car radio was on. We listened in silence as he drove and became so involved that when we got home we sat, rapt, until the end of the play.

"The story that gripped us is set in a future devastated by nuclear holocaust. David Strorm, a preacher's son, is growing up in the farming community of Waknuk, a settlement stripped of technology and ruled by religious fanatics. No mutation is tolerated - deviant crops are burnt, animals culled and humans sterilised and exiled into the Fringes, regions still contaminated by radiation.

"The setting lets Wyndham expound on the themes that thread through all his sci-fi classics, from The Day of the Triffids to Chocky; man's place in the ecosystem and the damage his selfish actions have on the planet and himself.

"The action comes from the discovery of David's own mutation - telepathy - an ability shared with a group who soon find themselves on the run, guided to possible salvation by a fellow telepath from a distant civilisation. Wyndham lumbers his characters with some verbose, pompous speeches about human nature, but his points are still interesting and as relevant today as when he wrote the book in 1955.

"It's also a ripping adventure.

"As the Waknuk zealots chase the telepaths into the Fringes, you almost wish for an extra mutant hand so you can turn the pages faster. I'm about the same age now as my father was when we heard The Chrysalids, and its effect on me is just as strong.

"Some stories endure; this is one of them."

.................................................................................................

And here you can read the first few pages for yourself (click to enlarge):

And now you should go to the book etailer of your choice and buy this delightful Penguin Modern Classic. It will distract you during the long, punishing holidays that stretch in front of us.

Artful interlude

2008-12-06T23:12:00.005Z

Lady V has collapsed on my sofa, the widows of Cranford insufficient to keep her from her slumbers. Although, in fairness to them, Lady V was, how shall I put it, a little under the weather.

I don't know why that made me think of this pair of images of Maxim Barychnikov, but, somehow, I associate his drink- and drug-crazed world with her present state. Mystifying, non?

Anyway, as I'm posting vaguely arty photos, I thought you might appreciate this one:

And then there's the lovely Stéphane Rideau, only recently praised on Blood & Custard but my philosophy is that you can never have too much of a good thing (isn't that right, Lady V?):

Ignore the title of the next image, which claims it is from Bruce Weber's iconic book Bear Pond. It is not. It is by French master Raymond Voinquel:

Then there's 60s Warhol icon Joe Dallesandro, but here with his son (in a shot rather different from the last time we saw them together):

Next up, a random vintage image:

And then a pair of arty black and white shots. No idea who they are by or who they are of, but by this stage I guess none of us much cares:

And another delicious Voinquel to finish:

Lady V hasn't stirred for more than an hour. I do hope she hasn't inhaled her own vomit...

Railway miscellany

2008-12-06T18:11:00.005Z

The railway line travels from left to right.

To the left, a road rises over the line; to the right, a stream runs underneath.

In engineering terminology, the bridge to the left is an overbridge, and that to the right is an underbridge.

The railway line is always the starting point for the definition.

And so to a couple of views of a viaduct, which show just how extraordinary these structures are:

And, to finish, a trio of near-random images -- of an East Coast mainline High Speed Train (InterCity 125) on diversion at Cambridge; a view of the main station at Melton Constable, the "Crewe of North Norfolk" for the old M&GN system (long-since demolished); and a spaghetti of overhead line at King's Cross as a pair of Networker 365s negotiates into the station throat:

I think we must all feel a lot better for having seen those fine sights.

Fistful of fun

2008-12-05T22:15:00.005Z

Five random images to take our minds off the swirling economic and environmental gloom that otherwise threatens to overwhelm us. Dunno what's going on here:

This has a weird mark on it where some logo has been erased, but don't let that distract you from the quality of the image:

And this delightful shot was sent to me by a kind reader (thanks, Mister!):

I love the weird, Apocalypse Now feel to this image:

And, to finish, this one has a certain surreal quality that makes it irresistible:

No idea what the Hell was going on there, but I'm already loving it.

Interest-ing

2008-12-05T22:10:00.003Z

Having fiddled while Rome (and pretty much everywhere else) burned, the Bank of England is now desperately trying to recover credibility while appearing not to be cluelessly hysterical -- the slashing of interest rates to 2% is their latest panic measure.

Martin Rowson has for me summed up best what it feels like.

Snuggles

2008-12-05T21:40:00.004Z

I was very much taken with this fine chap.

Great looks, magnificent chest.

But by this stage I was beginning to think he was only going to tease us...

Ha! Not a bit of it. He's a good boy:

Yeah, you don't need me for the rest of this post.

I was so happy to make his acquaintance. Lovely...

Dancing about

2008-12-05T19:27:00.003Z

I've never really understand what's going on in Capoeira.

But I can see how it's got an aesthetic presence.

There's something distinctive about it all (and have a look at the best movie depiction of it I know about, in Le Clan, where long-time Blood & Custard favourite Salim Kechiouche turns out to be a bit of a master).

It gives the somewhat contradictory impression of being so free-flowing and exuberant, while also being tightly controlled and constrained.

Although in this next photo, Steve the dog shows how easy it is to do:

I'm still none the wiser.

Steeplecab research 2

2008-12-05T17:44:00.013Z

We left the steeplecab research story a couple of days back, with me trying to track down the General Electric engine produced for Italy's pioneering Valtellina electrification. That locomotive seemed to be the parent design of the lovely NER no.1:

Well, how strange is that. With a bit of determined surfing, I discovered that one of the original 1902 steeplecab locomotives from the Valtellina line is on display in the Museo Nazionale della Scienza e della Tecnologia "Leonardo da Vinci".

Which is in Milan.

[Strange... I thought I knew some people who live in Milan... Hmmm.]

Anyway, unfortunately that museum has a completely fucked-up sense of priorities, so the only photograph on their website which is even vaguely useful is this one:

Ignore the giant black kettle that fills most of the photo, and have a look at the extreme right. Yes, not just one but two steeplecabs. How cool is that? The one at the front is our baby.

Some concerted surfing produced a few more images of the museum although, alas, the steeplecabs in most of them were just poking in from the edge -- savage cropping gives us these partial views:

However, after several hours using assorted permutations of words on flickr, I finally hit pay-dirt:

Here's a contemporary photograph from the inauguration of the Valtellina line in 1902:

You can see it carries a strange form of bow collector (although the NER machines were also first fitted with one, albeit on one of the bonnets -- the pantograph came a few years later).

The design is not an exact match -- as you can see, the NER's locomotives had slightly smaller cabs (with 2 windows across rather than 3; and 3 bays lengthwise rather than 4), longer and shallower bonnets, and smaller-wheeled bogies:

But the family resemblance is unmistakable.

Morbid fears

2008-12-05T17:32:00.003Z

English humour has long featured the character of the battleaxe. One of the most formidable in recent popular culture was the wife of incompetent hotelier Basil Fawlty: the veritable dragon-like (and delightfully named) Sybil:

Sybil was breath-takingly efficient where Basil was not, and it was clear she had little time for him.

But she styled herself in a rather tarty way, which perhaps belied her own pretensions to the golf club.

She spent hours on the phone gossiping with her friends, and it's one of those conversations I wanted to post today.

She is describing a forthcoming visit from her mother, who, it appears, has some problems.

"She has these, well, morbid fears they are, really...

"Vans is one...

"Rats.

"Doorknobs.

"Birds.

"Open spaces... confined spaces... it's very difficult getting the space right for her really, you know...

"Footballs.

"Bicycles.

"Cows...

"And she's always on about men following her...

"I don't know what she thinks they're going to do to her....

"'Vomit on her', Basil says..."

Classy.

Funny peculiar

2008-12-04T20:42:00.007Z

I find this image a little disconcerting:

It's as if he has a lady's breasty-dumplings.

Whereas he clearly has man-parts, too:

All in all, a rather fine package. Just a bit, well, weird.

So it makes a suitable introduction to a post of random images connected only by the fact that I find all of them everso slightly disconcerting, rather than, as I think was intended, erotic.

Sometimes it's a sequence rather than an individual image that I find weird. God knows what's meant to be going on here:

Enough of that. Here's another couple of random weirdies:

And, to finish, a sequence that clearly has something to do with a police station/arrest fantasy. But it just looks freaky:

Erm... yes, that is all.

Steeplecab researches

2008-12-04T17:37:00.010Z

You'll know how fond I've got of this locomotive (or, alternatively, how obsessive I've become):

The North Eastern Railway's pioneering Electric Number 1, commissioned in 1902 and in operation around Newcastle from 1905, weighed 56 tons and produced 640hp. It's a fine steeplecab built by British Thomson-Houston, based on an original design by American General Electric.

But where did that design come from?

Here's the earliest steeplecab I've yet discovered:

An experimental wooden-bodied design by Stephen Field, it was tested on New York's 34th Street elevated railway in 1887. I have not found any photographs of it.

1890 was a huge year in the development of the electric railway, with the opening of the City & South London Railway -- part of what is today the Northern Line of the London Underground. It was designed from scratch as an electric railway, and tiny electric locomotives (not, alas, steeplecabs) were employed to haul the carriages.

Three years later we come to what is, I think, the first "modern" steeplecab -- designed by the electric locomotive pioneer and engineering genius Frank Sprague in partnership with Johns Hopkins University, this lovely was built by the Baldwin Company (until then an eminent manufacturer of steam locomotives) in 1893:

It was designed for a Chicago suburban electric railway that was promoted as a subsidiary of Northern Pacific. Alas, NP went into bankruptcy and the line was never built.

General Electric had not been left behind. Also in 1893 it produced a four-wheeled, 30 ton electric steeplecab -- their first -- which was exhibited at the Chicago World's Fair before going on to a lifetime of employment in Connecticut.

Here is GE's 35-ton, 8-wheeled "Black Maria" of the following year, their second electric steeplecab:

It was sold to a Connecticut cotton mill in 1895 and was still in regular operation in 1964. Electric locomotives are hugely long-lived (but what is it about Connecticut that made them a home for early electric locos?).

All this work paved the way for the Baltimore & Ohio's magnificent electric system operated by these giant electric steeplecabs -- an order of magnitude bigger than any previous electric locomotive, they started work in 1895:

Weighing in at 95 tons -- a heavyweight even by steam standards -- and with 1,500hp engines, they were designed to haul 500 ton passenger trains (including their steam engines) at 35mph through a tunnel some 1.3 miles (2.2 km) long. And they could haul 1,200 ton freight trains, too, despite a gradient of around 0.8%.

In 1897, General Electric went back to more usual sizes with the construction of this baby, a 540hp steeplecab for the Hoboken Shore Railroad of New Jersey:

And, the following year, GE produced another pair of more usually-sized steeplecabs, this time for the Buffalo & Lockport Railway. They weighed 36 tons (so were a fair wack lighter than the NER's) and could haul a 340-ton train at 15mph over the B&L's 18 mile route:

Now, this is all very well, but I still have a key missing link.

Italian railways were the first in the world to electrify an entire mainline railway (rather than just a short stretch through a tunnel, which is what most early US electrification schemes were). The Valtellina line was electrified by the Hungarian engineering genius Kálmán Kandó of the Ganz company in 1902 (although the design work clearly preceded this date). Locomotives for this line were supplied by American General Electric, and it is this design of steeplecab that formed the basis for the North Eastern Railway's pair. Alas, I have not yet found an image of the Valtellina steeplecab.

Any ideas?

Perplexing

2008-12-03T21:59:00.002Z

I can't remember if I've mentioned how much I like chest hair.

But it doesn't have to be a forest-type outcropping.

Although I don't mind that at all. No sirree.

But there's something about this particularly secondary sexual characteristic that drives me wild with desire.

This chap is a perfectly ordinary sort of bloke otherwise.

So why am I drawn to him?

Infectious

2008-12-03T21:50:00.003Z

I'm very worried.

I was looking at this chap's lovely package, and finding myself thinking how nicely small it was.

And then I realised that, actually, it's a pretty meaty, er, meat.

And then it hit me: my penis-o-meter must have been racalibrated to porno sizes.

Dear God: I am falling for giant mutant winkies.

Although, thankfully, I still think his weird pubic topiary looks completely mental.

Good films which also have a bit of cock in them -- number 1,487 in an occasional series

2008-12-02T21:40:00.003Z

Presque Rien (or, as I think it might be known in North America, Come Undone), is a beautiful, beautiful film about first love and, less usual, the end of first love.

It stars Stéphane Rideau, one of the most beautiful men in the whole world ever, and Jérémie Elkaïm (here's Stéphane, looking lovely):

They have sex:

And Jérémie lets us see a close-up of him wanking his rather nice cock into a hard-on.

That's not something you see every day, is it?

The French do these sorts of films so much better than the rest of us.

Er... the film is joyfully exuberant and exquisitely sad. Beautiful. And, of course, the movie posters featured our two stars in a delightful Pierre et Gilles creation (although, if I'm not mistaken, I think the lovely Stéphane may have been a little, er, touched-up for it):

Digitally enhanced or not, I can't see many Hollywood stars being brave enough to do that, can you?

Comfort & joy

2008-12-02T20:59:00.004Z

Have I told you how much I'm hating the cold, wet, damp, wintry weather under which London is currently labouring. Everything's so grey, and so bitingly cold.

Which makes it ideal weather for shepherd's pie.

Nursery food is such a comfort.

And shepherd's pie is especially good if served with Branston Pickle.

(Crosse & Blackwell is the only acceptable brand of pickle, obviously).

And, of course, the meat needs to be served with lashings of Lea & Perrins' Worcestershire Sauce (that's pronounced "Wooster", in case any of my international readers were in any doubt).

See -- I feel cheerier already.

Lookie here

2008-12-02T20:46:00.003Z

People think being a voyeur is easy. But it's hard work.

There's the hours and hours -- sometimes years -- of waiting for just the right opportunity.

Then, when the moment comes, the gradual easing yourself into the correct position, surreptitiously moving so you won't be noticed.

Ah, but once in a while it all seems worth it.

And after all, you have to make hay while the sun shines.

A model posting

2008-12-01T21:50:00.002Z

I don't normally go for models, who tend to look a bit plastic-y perfect for my taste.

But this chap, "Ryan Paevey", is an exception, so you get a jolly pair of photos. Because I particularly liked this image:

Yeah. Very stylish.

Those were the days

2008-12-01T21:39:00.006Z

I stumbled across this delightful set of black and white images, mostly taken around Birmingham New Street in the late 1970s.

This is one of the main electric locomotive types, the Class 86:

The other main engine type was the diesel-electric Class 47:

I love the way the people look -- real, dumpy English people, like this staffer in his British Rail driver's uniform with the rather stylish kepi:

Look at that fantastically stylish mac (er, and the coloured-light signals, of course):

No, back to the Class 86 electrics:

And, to finish, these two boys take me right back to my own adolescence -- bad haircuts, polyester trousers and all:

All very evocative.

Stretchy goodness

2008-12-01T20:40:00.003Z

This is a grand sight, is it not?

I was going to leave this post at that, but then I thought -- nah, you deserve to see more.

And, while I was tempted to stop there, I just couldn't leave you dangling. So here's some more.

With a nice reveal, here:

Then back a little, to a little mousey peep-hole:

Then the full picture of all the loveliness:

And I know this is stretching it a bit, but here's the final image:

I feel sated, content and happy.

Bushy

2008-12-01T19:13:00.002Z

You may have thought it was this chap's rather welcoming eyes that first got my attention.

Or, possibly, the warmth of his smile.

Maybe it was even his winky, or those lovely hairy legs.

But no: it was the rather magnificent looking ficus in the background that caught my eye. I had one exactly like it -- about 2 metres high, bushy and leafy. Lovely.

See how sparkly and fit-looking it is?

Yes, just lovely.

Black & White

2008-12-01T18:55:00.004Z

I saw 1986's Noir et Blanc when it was first released, and it had rather a mind-stretching effect on me.

Starring Francis Frappat as an annoyingly mild-mannered accountant, Antoine, who discovers during an assignment at a health club that he really, really enjoys being a masochist. And he also discovers Dominique, a man who is happy to be play the sadist.

Their relationship unfolds slowly, just as it must have done for Antoine (a man who, in many other respects, seems barely alive, so keen is he to disappear into the background). The film carefully constructs this world and, even with dialogue that is irrelevant to the plot, still drives us single-mindedly to a conclusion that is as inevitable as it is deeply shocking.

For Antoine is a man who is literally without a sense of proportion.

Based on a Tennessee Williams short story that's so obscure even I haven't read it (and God knows I thought I'd read everything he'd written), Noir et Blanc is fascinating material. Pretty much unavailable anywhere in any format, and with almost no visual material even on the internet thingy, this has to be one of the most visually boring posts I've ever made. But I re-viewed it last night on the world's scratchiest print at the National Film Theatre, the only time since it was released 20 years ago that it's been available to see at the cinema (and this is a Camera d'Or-winning film, for fuck's sake!). And I still found it intriguing and engaging.

And I thought you ought to know about it: just in case you ever get the chance to see it.

Good luck in ever tracking it down.

To recap

2008-11-30T14:13:00.004Z

Remember this fine-looking chap?

I got a bit infatuated with him a couple of months back, and posted a nice sequence of him bound to a chair and being, uh, serviced.

Just posting these again to remind you.

I can even overlook the mutant winkie, in exchange for the lovely hairiness.

Life's all about compromises, isn't it?

Anyway, I've just found a couple of new images of him, this time unbound, so I thought I'd share.

That is all.

Pioneer

2008-11-30T12:46:00.005Z

My researches into the early history of electric steeplecab locomotives continue -- and to give you a flavour of the exciting discoveries I've made, here's a contemporary print of one of the earliest mainline steeplecabs, a monster built for the Baltimore & Ohio Railroad in 1895 (the first mainline electrification project in the US).

More of that some other time.

First, a diversion into another piece of electric prehistory, the Butte, Anaconda & Pacific Railway, in deepest Montana.

The BA&P was built in 1892 (and note it was a railway, not a railroad -- the terms were used near interchangeably in nineteenth century America, before the latter became dominant). Its primary purpose was to connect the copper mines at Butte with the smelters at Anaconda, some 26 miles distant.

It was an electrification pioneer, the first mainly freight line to convert to electric traction, its 1913 scheme being at 2400v DC using the overhead line system that, by then, had been made common with the electric interurbans. It ran passenger services as well as freight.

Like most electric railways in the US, it was converted to diesel operation in the 1960s, at a time when energy security seemed to be of no concern to anyone.

These rather cute General Electric box-cabs on static display are almost all that remains of the electrification project, though the line is still in operation today.

Beardy men

2008-11-29T15:44:00.005Z

I sometimes find myself marvelling at my own complexity.

No, really.

Take this example: I really don't like facial hair. It's a big turn-off for me. I don't mean a bit of manly stubble (which I can find rather attractive if, in some circumstances, dangerously abrasive), but those carefully shaped and coiffed moustaches and beards that some men go in for. They strike me as too ludicrously mannered (and overweeningly Narcissistic).

And yet this chap's chest is so overwhelmingly magnificent that I find myself totally smitten and labouring (again) under an extraordinary weight of lascivious & lustful thoughts.

I am an innocent victim.

Pretty much the same thing happened to me with this series of shots of a, um, professional:

Sometimes I amaze even myself.

Soundtracks to live by

2008-11-29T15:28:00.004Z

Two songs won't leave my head this afternoon -- the lovely Jay Brannan's Soda Shop, which here he's performing live (it memorably featured in fabulous film Shortbus):

And from another film, Juno, Belle & Sebastian's magnificent Expectations:

Ever get tunes that just won't leave you alone?

Obsession for Men

2008-11-29T13:51:00.005Z

You'll recall I was recently celebrating (or possibly drooling over) the obvious charms of JJ Feild, seen here in a scene from The Tulse Luper Suitcases in which he plays the eponymous hero (er... "Tulse Luper", not "Mr Suitcases").

In searching for more photos of JJ, I stumbled across this one from an obscure film called O Jerusalem.

While JJ is there in his glory on the right, I'm a little ashamed to admit that my attention was drawn more to the fine-looking chap on the left.

And the annoying thing is that I have no idea who he is -- the caption was decidedly unhelpful.

Since O Jerusalem is not available in the UK (or indeed the US), I've had to resort to importing a French DVD, to slake my thirst for information.

Although there is no indication that it contains such a thing, I am hoping the film includes an extended scene in which both of them engage in full-frontal man-on-man action.

I will report back anon.

Those were the days

2008-11-29T13:24:00.013Z

A desperately sad obituary today for anyone who grew up in England during a particular time period: the death at 95 was of Douglas Keen, the creator and editorial director of The Ladybird Books.

While the name was invented in 1940 for a fiction series for children, in response to war economies, the series really took off in 1948 when Douglas created the prototype of the classic pocket-sized mini-hardback.

Just 18cm x 11.5, these primarily factual books were designed to be read by children and, from 1960-ish, a special series was designed to teach children how to read (and, indeed, I was one of those children who learned to read with them).

I grew up with these books: they were all devised from a place of huge optimism about the post-War future, a future in which technology would always be good and in which everyone could aspire to a happy, middle-class, Modern lifestyle.

Illustrated by some of the leading graphic artists of the period, the books are indelibly burned into the brains of most English children of this age.

It is therefore unsurprising that the relentlessly sunny, innocent format has now been ruthlessly parodied.

While some of these parodies are a little coarse even for my weirdo tastes:

Others are brilliantly sustained satires that make me laugh out loud -- this book on the work of the Police is particularly good, I think using the illustrations from an original but then capturing perfectly the simple yet resolutely upbeat style of writing:

And yet none of this undoubted hilarity can dim the loyal sense of intense affection I feel for Ladybird Books.

Thanks, Douglas.

Green horn

2008-11-28T17:20:00.014Z

Before I went all arsey, I was in the middle of posting about good films which also give good willy. But first a picture of an actor:

I'll come back to him in a second.

Anyway, I was intending to have a separate section devoted to penises in the films of the magnificently mad Peter Greenaway, but then I got distracted because I finally managed to get my hands on a DVD of a 2003 film of his.

I've been wanting to see The Tulse Luper Suitcases -- Part 1: The Moab Story since then but it has never been released in any form in the UK (I finally got a copy of the Dutch DVD).

The film stars the magnificently lovely JJ Feild (and no, that isn't a misprint -- his name really is Feild rather than Field).

JJ was born in Colorado and grew up in London. He is magnificently magnificent. All flowing blond hair and milky-smooth skin...

I am in lurve.

Anyhow, he spends a decent proportion of The Tulse Luper Suitcases, etc... absolutely completely naked.

And tied to a tree. Greenaway knows what he likes, and there are long, lingering close-ups of JJ's beautifully-modest winky and rather spectacularly low-hanging, if modestly-sized, balls.

And a big exuberant bush of bushy exuberance.

It feels as if we have died and gone to veritable Heaven.

The film? Like all Greenaway's recent work, it's a playful experiment with time and dislocation, with arch -- almost theatrical -- characters and a sense of a strong intelligence at work.

Er... anyway: I was going to write about a bunch of other Greenaway films that give good winky (like the absolutely most enjoyable of his films, The Draughtsman's Contract; or The Pillow Book, the one with more nudity per square inch than almost any other non-porn movie I know).

But I've now wasted far too much time waffling on about the lovely, lovely JJ Feild, so instead you just get a medley of Ewan McGregor's meaty manliness.

(The picture in the top right-hand corner is from Pillow Book).

Big Brother

2008-11-27T22:15:00.008Z

I'm feeling arsey.

Blood & Custard is used (and I use that word deliberately) by thousands of visitors every single day. Yes, thousands.

Some of those visitors spend hours and hours and hours on here -- here's a selection of visitor logs from the last couple of hours: just look at some of those visit length statistics (or the "number of entries" tally on some of them).

And how many of those visitors leave comments?

About 20.

My friend Neil accused me about a year ago of being a comment whore. He was right.

So here's my question: why should I bother putting this together if you're just going to take, take, take, and not leave me positive strokes and other forms of praise?

Yes, this is all about reciprocity, people.

Of course, if you don't leave comments but just keep on taking, I could always post more of your ISP details on my blog...

Art, Jim

2008-11-24T22:40:00.006Z

No idea what the Hell is going on here, but I feel it's rather intriguing.

Yes, very interesting, Mr Bond.